The Hopeless Zone: Where Change Begins

 

The other day, I had to take a little more than ten days off from the gym due to a small but annoying lower back injury. Just to be clear, since I started in the fitness world, I had never taken more than a week off because “may consistency be my anthem” is my way.

Surprisingly, the week went by just fine. In fact, it gave me the space to reflect on certain behaviors and addictions I had been carrying on my back for pretty much all my life. I managed to sit in that gap and truly contemplate how addicted we are to things, even the healthy ones.

We often judge a child who throws a tantrum because they didn’t get their lollipop, but don’t we also, in our own contained (and sometimes very uncontained) ways, crave attention, validation, or the feeling of being better and looking good? Even when that craving takes the form of sports, it’s still a kind of addiction. The only difference is that this particular “drug” is socially approved endorsed by society and some  health organizations.

Don’t get me wrong: fitness once saved me, and climbing saved me many times. But I’ve also learned that in moments of chaos, or what I call the "hopeless zone", there’s more to healing than just clinging to action.

So where should we go when we feel shipwrecked in the center of the sea , when it seems even God has turned away. What do we do when the heart turns into a hollow, dark, ungraspable space? The truth is, these places often show up right before an imminent change.

My experience says we aren’t meant to linger there forever ,we’re undergoing a kind of purification. Like iron forged in flames, we are being shaped by this burning experience. It’s unavoidable: we already hold the ticket to being human, with all the mess and the meaning that comes with it.

Today, I see myself freer, though not immune. I can observe and understand that hell destroys what we’ve been attached to, allowing us to discover what is real. It places us, eventually, in a position of higher understanding…Though still vulnerable.

And hey, guess what? Tomorrow is leg day! I’m going back to the gym. Maybe the ten days of rest will help me lift a few more kilos, or maybe grace itself will help me level up on this incredible path of learning to understand the unfamiliar and transform it into a new ability.

“May the observation of these changes be my anthem.”

I wish you all a life full of experiences and understanding.

Love

Gaby




 


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